How We Think Of Love Is Messed Up

I think all of us want to be loved by someone.

But I’m not sure many people understand what love really is.

I grew up under the impression that true love should feel effortless.

You’ll find someone that you just click with instantly. You share the same interests, laugh at the same jokes, and look into each others eyes until your heart melts.

I have had many fleeting obsessions like this throughout my life. But you know what the funniest part is? I never ended up in a relationship with any of them.

The truth was that I wasn’t in love with them. I was in love with the idea of falling perfectly in love with the ideal person that I wanted them to be.

And when I pushed too hard to make the ideal come to life (usually by trying to delude myself), or the ideal of this person was shattered when I saw more of them, I naturally moved on to my next imaginative figure.

Throughout my decade of relationship experience, I’ve come to realize that true love only develops when you’ve been able to weather the storms together.

Conflict in relationships are unavoidable. When you really get to know each other, you’re going to disagree on some things, or say something that you thought was fine in your mind but is insulting to your partner, and you’re going to have to maturely find a way to resolve the issue.

In my first two serious relationships, it was clear that I was both too immature to resolve conflicts properly, and too incompatible to find a mutual resolution with these women.

But 2 years ago, that changed.

I met someone who I truly loved. We went through the honeymoon phase. We had arguments and conflicts. And through those conflicts, I grew to understand this woman deeply, and her wants and needs, as she did mine.

We’ve experienced so much together, and through that process, I’ve only loved her more and more.

So that’s why, last Saturday, I proposed. That woman is now my fiance.

The perfect relationship exists, but it’s perfect exactly because it isn’t.

It’s perfect because they will help you realize how much more you can grow, accept one’s flaws and mistakes for all they are, and be selfless.

In other words, they will help bring out the best version of you through both good times and bad, as you will for them.

My life is about to change forever.

And I’m excited to share what I learn with all of you.

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Thanks for reading, everyone. Hope you enjoy your weekend.

-Cole