Stop Searching For The Perfect Life

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The Lies We Are Sold

You can have it all.

That’s a common phrase that is influencing a lot of young people who spend the majority of their time on the internet.

So why does it feel like everybody else has so much more of this “all” than yourself?

Out of all the destructive things social media can conjure (along with all of the good things), I think the biggest problem the current/next generation will face is the portrayal of unrealistic expecations that are growing in abundance.

Expectations Of Wealth

Endless stories of 18 year old millionaires profiting off of their ecom business.

Stock and crypto portfolios bursting through the stratosphere.

Generating hundreds of thousands of dollars per month off a YouTube channel.

These stories are absolutely remarkable displays of people who have “made it”, in the conventional terms of success.

But how do these portryals of success make you feel?

Many young people are convinced that since this wealth seemed to come easy for these people, it must come quickly for me.

And if it doesn’t, they have no real value or worth in society. Nothing to live for.

What these people making outrageous amounts of money online rarely show you is that:

• They failed for years and lost profit before they even made a cent

• The way they are making money provides no sort of long-term fulfillment

• It’s possible they had certain advantages that you don’t have

And yet, so many of us expect that we should be at that sort of level by a certain age.

The reality is, sustainable, meaningful wealth that lasts takes decades to build.

I can understand the idea of wanting to get out of poverty/low income as quickly as possible, and doing anything possible to make that happen (even if it means you start a profitable business that doesn’t at all make you truly happy.)

But even that sort of pursuit is going to be filled with tons of failure.

Failure is inescapable and inevitable. So why not direct your energy towards creating something you can be proud to show others?

Yes, if you aren’t scamming people, or upcharging for a product you could buy for a few pennies on a third party website, it will probably take you much longer to become wealthy.

But what you’ll gain from that experience (as opposed to the “get rich quick” mentality) is:

• A much stronger sense of purpose (because what kind of work you’re doing actually means something)

• A resilient mindset (because this approach is almost guaranteed to take at least 2-5 years to start paying off)

• Much better lessons in terms of managing, saving, and investing money

The amount of money you make is directly correlated with how much value you bring to a certain market.

And if you’ve only been doing this for 2, 3, or 4 months (and inconsistently, at that), be realistic with yourself.

How much value have you really produced? How much have you given?

I get it. We want everything now. And it’s very possible to get most of our basic needs met immediately. That’s what fuels this mindset.

But the expectations you are placing on yourself as to what level of income you should be at (or need to be at in order to finally start liking yourself) are outrageous.

I’m not discouraging you to be delusionally optimstic with your dreams. You have to have some level of delusion to be able to do what most think is impossible.

I’m telling you to accurately assess what you have produced so far—which means you DON’T compare yourself to some random millionaire online—play the long game, and tell yourself you will win, no matter what, all while enjoying the journey of getting there.

Expectations For Love

It seems like we’re all holding out for that perfect person to magically come into our lives, that will solve all our problems.

The “never settle” mentality is promoted above all else. Just wait for your soulmate to come.

This is stopping so many people from building true love.

While it’s somewhat true that you should “not settle”, people take that statement at face value, and believe if a relationship is truly meant to be, it should feel like a fantasy in every moment.

This is only further exacerbated by the outrageous standards both young men and women have for physical attractiveness (due to excess filters, and only the most attractive people being promoted online.)

The reality is, real love takes a lot work to get there.

You're going to have disagreements with your partner no matter what.

And what really matters, is if you both are willing to put in the effort to build something great.

I’d argue the biggest difficulty in finding “the one” isn’t finding this perfect being who matches everything you’re looking for in a person.

It’s finding a person who shares similar values, and goals for a future life, who might not be perfect, but knows how to communicate through conflict and meet their partner’s needs/wants.

Because a person can look perfect on paper.

But then, when any sort of disagreement, misfortune or miscommuncation happens, they will avoid the conflict and storm off.

Just like fulfilling, meaningful wealth, fulfilling, meaningful relationships take time.

The realest love I’ve experienced only comes after overcoming adversity together, and growing from that experience.

Look beyond the superficialities.

Look beyond “having it all” in the way that other people are telling you that “all” should look like.

Look beyond the masquerades and meaningless frivolties of wealth, status and love being highlighted online.

The real sauce, the real filling you’re looking for to make your life feel more complete, comes after years of work.

And you can’t cheat that.

Seeing Things More Accurately

One thing I’ve been rigorously developing over the years is my ability to see things for what they actually are, rather than the belief I have about that thing inside my head.

Kind of like the beliefs we have about wealth and love, versus the reality behind them.

I wanted to create a complete resource for you to start identifying your inaccurate thoughts, learn how to transform them, and conquer every aspect of the journey towards self mastery.

And that is why I created my self mastery school.

The Ultimate Self Mastery School is a place for those who want to actualize their greatest potential, strengthen their self awareness, build better habits, and develop a fulfilling life.

The school features 14 videos with 15+ worksheets, a guided meditation, and an exclusive community where we all hold each other accountable and give further advice.

It’s a culmination of years of research on behavioral science, psychology, and of course, trial and error from my own life.

And it’s specifically designed for those who want to go deeper than superficial YouTube videos/articles, make close friends who uplift them, and gain a better understanding of themselves.

Being able to actually apply the advice you receive, and get consistent feedback from like-minded people are probably the two most important factors in seeing permanent change.

And I’m guessing you currently feel like you can’t talk to anyone in real life about your struggles with self-development, right?

That’s why our community meets in a group coaching call every other week to make sure we are all staying on the path towards self mastery.

It’s also been an incredible way for everyone to open up about things that they have been going through, have accountability surrounding the habits we are trying to build/remove, and get feedback and advice without judgement.

And because of that, the friendships in there feel genuine.

It’s easily the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever created.

Here's some recent wins from our community:

Watch the intro video on that page to see if the course is right for you.

Hope to see you in the community.

Quote of The Week

Thanks for reading, everyone. Hope you enjoy your weekend.

-Cole