When Life Feels Out Of Control, Do This

Knowing What’s Best For You

We all want to think that we know what’s best for us.

Because if we do, that means that every decision we make is a decision we chose, and is the right decision.

But the problem arises when we make a plan of what we believe to be the “right decisions”, and it goes nothing like we thought it would.

You set weekly, monthly, and yearly goals… and you fail to hit most of them.

You think that this person was “the one”… but you end up falling apart.

And sometimes, life just throws you a completely unwarranted curveball that makes everything feel like it’s spiraling out of control.

These are the moments where you must learn to relinquish control more.

Because if you don’t, you will continue to ignore the signs that life is trying to give you, and the direction it’s trying to push you in.

By now, I’ve taught you in this newsletter and in several of my videos, that our brain is designed for one thing above all else: to make us survive.

And so, when something unexpected happens (that it perceives as a threat to our survival), it goes into panic mode. And you automatically start overthinking everything you could’ve done differently to avoid or change things.

But there’s a different way to stop your brain from catastrophizing and leading you down the wrong path.

And I’m going to show you how.

The Act Of Surrendering

Imagine that you come down with a really bad cold.

Your eyes feel puffy, your nose is congested, you get chills every few seconds, and your energy is depleted.

When the body knows that a virus has made it’s way into you, it automatically starts creating these defense mechanisms, and fighting off the virus without you having to do anything.

And the way you feel this defense is through the unfavorable symptoms that I described.

Is it really you who is the one fighting off the virus? Well I’d argue that no, your conscious self is not the one that is telling your body, “Hey, start fighting this off, and raising my temperature, and making me feel bad.”

It does this on it’s own.

And this makes sense, because the design of the human body has evolved and been around for hundreds of thousands of years longer than you.

This means that in some ways (or actually, a lot of ways), your body intuitively knows what’s best for you better than you do.

And even though we can help our body’s process of fighting off the virus by hydrating, resting, and feeding it organic whole foods, we trust that our bodies will get the job done eventually.

We know this won’t last forever, and that the result of overcoming the sickness will be a strengthened immune system. (At least, sometimes.)

So why do we not view everything else that is outside of our control in the same way?

The universe has been around for ~13 billion years.

And you’ve been here for, what, 18? 25? 40?

Don’t you think the universe has been around long enough to design itself in a way that it can figure things out for you if you let it, in the same way that your body can?

The older that I get, the more I understand that my life has shown me all kinds of signs and pushed me in all kinds of directions, without my own doing, to get me to exactly where I need to be right now.

And it wasn’t always the person I thought I should be.

At some points I thought I would be less insecure, or more confident. I thought that I should be more of a hustler because people online were telling me playing any video games are bad, or that I should have more money, status, and wealth, and pursue this type of lifestyle if I truly wanted to be happy.

But it was only because I wasn’t willing to surrender to this universal intelligence, and trust that the path that was set out for me, and the things I was drawn towards were meant for me.

When things feel like they are absolutely out of control in your life—when you’re low on money, when you’re losing friends, when you’ve failed that test—you must consider that perhaps the universe may know better than you, and that it is trying to get you to surrender and accept a path that your conscious mind doesn’t want to accept.

It doesn’t mean that you’re a puppet being pulled by a string, bouncing from one direction to the other.

You still have the free will to choose what to do with what the universe presents to you.

But maybe, just maybe, you need to understand that things will come into your life exactly when they need to, and leave exactly when they need to.

When the universe presents you with something you think shouldn’t have happened, or is unfavorable to you, accept that it knows better than your conscious self right now.

Because a 13.7 billion year old thing probably does.

And accept that it continues to reflect back a life to you that is in accordance with what you currently do, and the beliefs you hold.

Since I’ve starting practicing surrendering more to the things I can’t control, but I know deep down in my soul are right for me in the end, the peace I feel on a daily basis has skyrocketed.

I still often get distracted by cheap pleasures, and feel all kinds of negative emotions, and don’t make the best decisions.

But I no longer think anything should’ve gone differently than it did.

This upcoming year, surrender to the idea that everything comes and goes at the right time, because the universe knows better than you do.

And wake up to the signs and the directions that it’s pushing you towards, and do something with it.

When you start to live more like that, no feelings, thoughts, or experiences will ever feel “wrong”. And you’ll start to feel more connected to everyone and everything around you.

It’s all necessary for who you’re meant to become.

And you are exactly who you need to be right now to become a greater version of yourself.

Becoming Your Highest Self

It is not enough to simply just pray and hope that the universe will guide you towards a better life.

Like I stated, the free will you have must be used to act upon what you are predisposed to see and feel more.

When you’re first doing this type of inner work, it can feel extremely difficult to start to reconnect with the things that really light you up, that you feel like you’re meant to do.

Because over the years (especially in our modern world), other people’s beliefs, opinions, and ideas about what they think you should be doing have been instilled into you.

Much of adulthood is about learning. But what’s even more important is unlearning and reconnecting.

I wished that there was a resource to help people understand what they’re actually capable of (which is always WAY more than what they think), and teach them the methods that I’ve used over the years to become the most financially, mentally, and physically fulfilled I’ve ever been.

A resource that would make you wake up and be proud of the life you’ve created, but also have such a level of peace that any unexpected occurrences could be let go without even having to try.

And that is why I created my Ultimate Self Mastery School.

The Ultimate Self Mastery School is a place for those who want to actualize their greatest potential, strengthen their self awareness, build better habits, and develop a fulfilling life.

The school features 14 videos with 15+ worksheets, a guided meditation, and an exclusive community where we all hold each other accountable and give further advice.

This course is a culmination of years of research on behavioral science, psychology, and of course, trial and error from my own life.

And it’s specifically designed for those who want to go deeper than superficial YouTube videos/articles, and gain a better understanding of themself.

Being able to actually apply the advice you receive, and get consistent feedback from like-minded people are probably the two most important factors in seeing permanent change.

And I’m guessing you currently feel like you can’t talk to anyone in real life about your struggles with self-development, right?

That’s why our community meets in a group coaching call every other week to make sure we are all staying on the path towards self mastery.

It’s also been an incredible way for everyone to open up about things that they have been going through, have accountability surrounding the habits we are trying to build/remove, and get feedback and advice without judgement.

And because of that, the friendships in there feel genuine.

It’s easily the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever created.

Here's some recent wins from our community:

Watch the intro video on that page to see if the course is right for you.

Hope to see you in the community.

Quote of The Week

Thanks for reading, everyone. Hope you enjoy your weekend.

-Cole