Achieving All Your Goals Isn't What You Want

The Largest Human Dilemma

For a video in December, I’d like to describe the more philosophical reasonings behind why highly intelligent/conscious people have a difficulty time fitting in and making friends (and also how modern society makes us inherently untrustworthy of each other.)

I remembered that someone recommended I read the work of Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky, because many of his writings critiqued what would soon come to be a prevalent force of nihilism, totalitarianism, and materialism.

So I decided to start by listening to the audiobook, “Notes From The Underground”. (The title was most closely related with what I wanted to research. Not much else went into why I chose that over his other works, to be honest.)

The story is told from a first person perspective of “The Underground Man”, an elderly, narcissistic hermit in his 40s who has been, presumably, living in a crawl space and listening to the on-goings of the world from below.

The book is divided into two parts—with the first being a sort of monologue about his state of agony and suffering, and why his consciousness is both his greatest ally and worst enemy.

In this part, he’s constantly dropping truth bombs that I think many of us can all secretly relate to—if only a little.

But one of the most impactful lines of the first part of the book, is when he says this:

“Man likes to make roads and to create, that is a fact beyond dispute. But why has he such a passionate love for destruction and chaos also?... May it not be that he loves chaos and destruction (there can be no disputing that he does sometimes love it) because he is instinctively afraid of attaining his object and completing the edifice he is constructing? Who knows, perhaps he only loves that edifice from a distance, and is by no means in love with it at close quarters; perhaps he only loves building it and does not want to live in it, but will leave it, when completed, for the use of les animaux domestiques--such as the ants, the sheep, and so on.”

Humans have this innate desire to want to build and progress.

And following that reasoning, you would assume that, by now, we’d have made such significant progress that most of the world’s atrocities would be minimized.

But time and time again throughout history, we see ourselves destroying our own progress—or worse, thinking we are making progress “for the common good”, when that progress really leads to worse results in the end.

And It’s almost as if, deep down, we don’t want to figure everything out, and reach the utopia of happiness that many of us strive for in our day to day lives.

Because what’s there to life after all your problems are solved, and you’ve achieved everything you want?

The problem with humans is that, we simultaneously want to fix our problems, while knowing we would be miserable if we had none.

I think this explains why we have continued to create problems as our society continues to evolve.

Not just because new ways of functioning will inevitably come with new problems.

But also because we secretly want to make problems and ensue chaos, so that we have something to solve.

It’s worth it to contemplate what you think you would do with your life if every problem you had was fixed, or everything you are trying to achieve right now had been achieved.

What then, would you do?

You say you wish you were “there” already—to this imaginary point in time where things will be “better”—but how much of those achievements would satisfy you for good?

The answer is, they wouldn’t.

This means that, whatever destruction and chaos you’re going through right now, whatever suffering and misfortunes you will face, are actually the very thing you need to know you are alive, and to keep having a reason to live and move forward.

I’ve constantly reminded you of this theme in my videos.

If you are in the process of doing something you enjoy that has a set end point, you’ve made it.

You are exactly where you want to be.

And when you get to that set end point, you’ll find that you want to create more chaos—a similar sort of chaos you had before you “made it”—so you can create another process for you to be immersed in.

As Dostoevsky put it: You want to construct the building, but not live in it peacefully forever.

To be aware of this predicament might at first be discouraging.

But embracing it fully, and accepting the suffering that is necessary for you to feel like you’re truly alive, is the greatest state in which you can live in.

Accepting Your Suffering And Enjoying The Process

I have had the pleasure of taking in many different life philosophies, and applying their teachings into my own life.

And through that process, my ability to handle suffering, and accept this dark side of myself (that deep down, secretly wants some chaos) has significantly increased.

What I’ve learned is that, life doesn’t really get easier.

But spending enough time mastering yourself, and figuring out who you are—not who people tell you you are—makes you much better equipped to handle it.

And this might be the scariest, most confusing thing you can do…

But self-mastery is truly, the most rewarding undertaking of one’s life.

If you want to truly master yourself for good, learn how to build positive habits that last for the rest of your life, accept your flaws, and you want to join a community of like minded individuals all looking to improve, you should check out my Ultimate Self Mastery Course.

The course features 14 videos with 15+ worksheets, a guided meditation, and an exclusive community where we all hold each other accountable and give further advice.

This course is a culmination of years of research on behavioral science, psychology, and of course, trial and error from my own life.

Being able to actually apply the advice you receive, and get consistent feedback from like-minded people are probably the two most important factors in seeing permanent change.

And I’m guessing you currently feel like you can’t talk to anyone in real life about your struggles with self-development, right?

That’s why our community meets in a group coaching call every other week to make sure we are all staying on the path towards self mastery.

It’s also been an incredible way for everyone to open up about things that they have been going through, have accountability surrounding the habits we are trying to build/remove, and get feedback and advice without judgement.

And because of that, the friendships in there feel genuine.

It’s easily the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever created.

Here's some recent wins from our community:

Watch the intro video on that page to see if the course is right for you.

Hope to see you in the community.

Quote of The Week

Thanks for reading, everyone. Hope you enjoy your weekend.

-Cole